President's Desk
August 2009

FIFTEEN YEARS LATER…

The beginning of this month has been very surprising to me as I approach the 15th year anniversary of my Pilgrimage to Betania where I was instructed by Our Blessed Mother through Maria Esperanza to follow the total guidance of her Spouse the Holy Spirit. (I wrote the details on the President’s page in AUGUST OF 2007).

As we began this month I have had to face the fact that the President of the Cruise Company I was using to do the St. Paul Cruise is refusing or better yet STEALING the deposit money from this ministry. Then I opened a letter from my bank and one of the people that gave a deposit has made a claim to reverse the charge on her Discover card. It seemed this was too much for me to handle as I try to work with the ones that also made deposits, assuring them that as a Non Profit Ministry (not a business) we will do all that we can to get him to send back the money and we will try to get benefactors to help us as well. Even though all sign a disclaimer (it is on all brochures and here on the site as well, that we act for the companies we do business with and cannot be responsible for their actions) we still struggle a lot to make sure all our dealings are fair and we go the extra mile to make sure all monies are returned to our pilgrims. We have a 15 year history of this.

As an accountant that has owned my own business I have been the main benefactor of this ministry as well as my tax clients that have stayed and brought in more people over the years to sustain the ministry by donating money for tax preparation as well as their generous donations. It is very hard not to try to take control of all situations (definitely through prayer) but still with the feeling of personal responsibility that I have to deal with all the situations personally. Sometimes it takes quite a while and some I am still working on but I have assured anyone that has not been able to go on a trip, no matter when they cancel or when the trip is cancelled that I will not give up trying to get enough money ahead to pay them back. I can assure you there is a long list that can vouch for this.

As I really had to take a good look at the situation that day, I really became devastated and actually got physically sick. I had the foresight to call one of my true friends and prayer partner and share how I was feeling. She immediately started praying, lit a candle, went to the Blessed Sacrament to intercede for me and the situation. (I immediately went to sleep for three hours). When I woke up I felt better. The next evening I went to a prayer meeting with one of my other prayer partners as well as my friend. We prayed for her healing as well as a few others that needed us and I proceeded to head home. I had barely left when Our Lady touched my heart and made me realize what she has been bringing me to all these years….total consecration to the Trinity (as in the Divine Will). I had to LET GO AND LET GOD just as I council people to do all the time; however, this was to be total surrender in that I CANNOT HANDLE THIS, I HAVE NO MEANS TO HANDLE THIS, I CAN ONLY PRAY, AND OFFER IT UP AND LET THE HEAVENLY COURT TAKE CARE OF IT. Then there was peace.

My friend is Lupe DeLaTorre a board member. She has realized and has said for a long time that this ministry has to be supported by more benefactors and has set out to ask for smaller donations to add up to the amount we need to keep providing the services to our Priests and people of the Diocese of Tucson as we have for over fourteen years. Even though it is trickling in it is definitely happening.

As I come to this 15th year and look back over the time that I have tried to always imitate Our Blessed Mother, always try to check to see if She were in my situation, what would She do it is gratifying to know that we have been her instruments to bring healing, conversion, people back to the church and especially our ministry to Priests. It is also with heartfelt gratitude to Her that she has taught me, led me and seen me through so many tough situations (too numerous to list here) and a lot of them financial when I had to pick up the bill with a lot of my own finances but never looking back or regretting anything as long as it is what pleases Her. 

I was reading Brother Raymond’s Thesis on Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity I was reminded of her understanding of prayer as a Carmelite and I must share this is what I try to do: “For a Carmelite must be an apostle. The Carmelite prays and strives for the closest possible union with God, not simply for her own holiness and salvation; she is aware that the more she is living in Christ, the more powerful she is in her prayer for others. Just as evil can pollute and corrupt, even more so can goodness and holiness transform.” 

I have listened to my confessor for a few months as he reflects (with the Holy Spirit) that my penance had to stay the same as “I am not there yet… almost” I pray this insight is what She is asking and it will bring more blessings to all in this ministry and all of you as well. I don’t usually write the things that happen to me personally but my Board has been insisting that I share more so my prayer is that if this situation of mine touches even one person on their road to eternity then it is worth writing. 

May God Bless All of You

GAYLE